A Little Less Lost
by Conchoidal.Fracture
Summary: If there was one person in the world that could make him a little less miserable, it would be her. House's POV. Huddy. Possible spoilers for any aired episode. Rated T for adult language and minor adult themes.
1. Chapter 1

_So this is my first attempt of a House fanfiction, as well as a fanfiction in general. I'd love some comments and reviews, so I know whether I should continue. Thanks in advance,_

_~CF_

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Chapter 1

I limped down the hallway, eyes set on one destination - Cuddy's office. No I wasn't going to have some emotional talk with her, I was just curious. The lights in her office were still gleaming, despite my wristwatch reading a few minutes past midnight. Maybe she'd lost track of time; she did that a lot these days. Still, it was pretty difficult to be oblivious to the impending darkness of nighttime. Even with all of the fluorescent lights on in the hospital, things seemed darker, almost eerily still. Yes, it would be hard for the setting of the sun to go unnoticed in such a normally busy place, very hard.

When I reached the glass of her door, I paused, attempting to peer through the closed blinds on the other side. She'd shut them too well and all I could discern was the glow of yellow light, nothing more. Rolling my eyes, I push into her office, having picked the perfect sarcastic remark to assault her with. The first syllable rolled off my tongue, but was cut short when I realized it would have no effect. Cuddy wouldn't even hear it.

On top of a mess of papers was an equally chaotic head of dark brown curls. The calming effects of sleep had softened Cuddy's normally stern face, her high cheekbones seeming less sharp, her normally pursed lips relaxed in a silent sigh. The expression of arrogance that was plastered on my face must have melted down to a small smirk, then to utter confusion. Cuddy at work, sleeping? Not humanly possible! I shook my head when I noticed a pen grasped loosely in her limp left hand. Even in her sleep, Cuddy couldn't stop working.

I walked quietly over to her side and shook her shoulder in an attempt to wake her. She moaned, almost inaudibly, and shifted a small bit in her seat. I sighed, knowing that if she slept in her current position she'd awake the next day even more tired and unhappy. Maneuvering carefully to her side, I somehow worked her into the crook of my left arm. She was like a dead weight, doing nothing to alleviate the pain that carrying her caused. I don't really know why I did that, but Cuddy would have to feel obligated to reduce my clinic hours later. That and the fact that she'd brought me home from bars in a drunken stupor quite a few times before...

To tell the truth, something seemed different after the whole 'kissing' incident between us. I don't know if I liked her more or hated her more, but one thing was for sure. That 'Great Wall' between love and hate that I previously thought existed, definitely wasn't as big as I had formerly thought. Anyways, I had an extremely rough go at keeping her mass off of my bad leg and somehow moving forward at the same time. The trek from her office, down the elevator, and to her car was excruciating and slow. Many heads were turned as they saw a crippled doctor lugging the Dean of Medicine's sleeping body through the halls of Princeton Plainsboro, but no one even offered me a hand of assistance. Conceited, idiotic, morally-incompetent... Wait. I couldn't be making those complaints if I never showed those characteristics... Nah. I can complain if I want.

The nagging pain that throbbed through my ruined leg didn't help the negativity that rattled around in my brain. On top of that, in the parking lot Cuddy moved her weight slightly to my right, the miniscule shift almost causing me to topple to the hard blacktop as my thigh seemed to explode beneath me. My grip on my cane tightened exponentially, knuckles turning white.

With eyes squinted against that all-to-familiar feeling that even Vicodin couldn't alleviate anymore, I somehow managed to shuffle all the way to Cuddy's car. Thankfully the doors were unlocked and I was able to set her limp figure on the back seat without jostling her around too much. Digging through her irritatingly large purse, I managed to find her car keys, and in minutes I was out of the lot and on my way to her place.

Every now and then, I'd look away from the road in front of me to check on my sleeping boss. I couldn't get over just how peaceful she looked when she slept. Trying to shake the thoughts of our kiss out of my head, for the billionth time today, I returned my gaze to the pavement ahead of me. Before long, I was pulling into Cuddy's driveway, carrying her clumsily from her car and to her front door. I heard the car doors automatically lock behind me. Having leaned my cane against the side of her house, I unlocked the door and pushed my way inside.

The most difficult part of my journey would turn out to be the stairs I'd forgotten about. I rarely attempted stairs by myself, let alone with another human being in my arms. Damn Cuddy for living in a two story house. Damn myself for actually trying to help her for once. Damn her for not waking when I'd shaken her. Damn myself for only trying to wake her once... The list went on and on. And somehow, the thoughts of damning people must have distracted me, because, before I really could comprehend how it had happened, I was sitting at the top of the stairs, Cuddy cradled against my chest.

I pushed myself along the floor on my rear, unable to get to my feet. Reaching the bed, I used the headboard and nightstand to help me up, careful not to hit Cuddy's head on the corner of her reading lamp. Success. Pulling back the covers on her bed, I rested her down upon her mattress, making sure to lay her head squarely on one of her memory foam pillows. Unstrapping her heels, I managed to slip them from her feet and place them neatly next to each other at the foot of her bed.

Cuddy groaned and lazily blinked her eyes open enough to see. Sure, miss damsel in distress had to wake up after I'd gone to hell and back to make her comfortable. Damn Cuddy... for everything. I buried my face in my left hand, supporting myself against the soft mattress with my other hand. All this work had gone to waste.

"Goodnight, Cuddy," I mumbled sourly, turning to leave. Before I could do so, a thin hand wrapped its fingers around my forearm.

"No. Don't go," Cuddy whispered, yawning in exhaustion. "You have no way home."

"What do you expect me to do Cuddy? I can take care of myself. I've walked home before. When will you get the fact that I don't care that you care?" I spat, not really meaning the last part. That was probably the opposite of how I really felt, but somehow those words still slipped out. I cringed at the silence that lingered. The air felt heavy, hard to breathe. I had to say something, but I didn't want to turn around. I knew that a hurt face filled with betrayal and sadness would greet me. The firm grip on my arm loosened and the hand was retracted back to its owner. My stomach felt sick when I heard a sob that failed to be stifled. I couldn't stand it anymore.

"Look, I'm sorry!" I yelled, a little louder and more harsh than I'd wanted it to be. "Are you happy now?!" I knew my tone was less than desirable. I glared at her tear-streaked face, seeing faint traces of mascara trailing down her cheekbones. She didn't look peaceful anymore, just fragile.

She sniffled and murmured under her breath, "I'm a little less miserable." Wiping her eyes, she turned over in bed, showing her back to me.

"I am sorry, Cuddy," I consoled, actually startling myself with how soft the words came out. I placed a hand on her shoulder, trying to fix what I'd done. She slid a few inches toward the other side of the bed, as if she was trying to slip away from me. Then it finally got through my thick skull that she was inviting me, making room for me, not trying to escape.

I kicked off my worn-out tennis shoes and slid onto her sheets. I didn't embrace her, didn't say anything. Just laid there with my hand against her upper arm, staring at the unexciting back of her head. I was awake when her breathing slowed and she went limp once more. I was awake when the neighbors next door decided the moment was right and forgot to close their blinds all the way. I didn't notice when I, myself, succumbed to the welcoming realm of sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Rays of golden sunshine peered through the slats in Cuddy's Venetian blinds, coaxing my eyes open. Narrowing my eyes against the bright lights I managed to bring a hand up to shield my face. My lungs seemed almost hard to fill with air, which was strange, as I'd never had breathing problems before. My head, still fluffy from sleep, would not allow me to move it without a protest of dizziness. I complied with its wishes and rested back against the pillow beneath me. Soft.

In an attempt to see the source of my difficult inhalation, I strained my eyes downward to see the side of somebody's face pressed against my chest, a hand on my stomach, and a pair of legs curled around mine. Damn. How Cuddy had gotten into that position I wasn't totally sure, but I soon realized it had been a group effort. My left arm ran under her torso and rested on her waist, with both of my sets of fingers intertwining with each other. Double damn. I had to get out of here before Cuddy woke up. I'd never hear then end of it. Then again, she'd never hear the end of it either.

I pulled my free arm off of Cuddy's gently breathing body then tried to slip my arm out from underneath her. Failure. Her fingers grasped a fold in my jacket, their grip firm and strong. I'd always known that there was a clingy part of her, but, hell, I didn't know it was this clingy! I sighed, realizing my defeat, and relaxed. If I wasn't going to leave, I might as well sleep; it was a Saturday morning after all. I closed my eyes again, readjusting myself to drift away again.

Just as I was beginning to doze off, Cuddy twitched slightly, and then screamed, the loud, high-pitched noise assaulted my ears. I squeezed my eyes as tight as they would go. When the screech finally halted, I opened my eyes cautiously to assess the damage. Cuddy was sitting as far away from me as possible, her knees brought up under her chin. She was shaking her head and looking at me, anger blaring in her turquoise gaze. Shit. Somebody was not happy.

"What the hell are you doing here, House?!" Cuddy yelled. I cringed at her tone. It was scary. It was one of the few times Cuddy had actually scared me. "You... me... no... We didn't... did we? Damn..." All of a sudden she seemed somewhat scared. I wasn't exactly sure why though; sex with me wasn't that horrific, was it?

"Cuddy, no. You're in full work attire, I figured even your inept brain could've figured that out," I mocked, sitting up and pushing myself upright against her headboard. She punched me in the bicep, and I pretended to rub it in pain. "I'm pretty sure you're the one who wants to screw me, anyways, Cuddy."

"Go screw yourself, House," she mumbled, rolling her eyes in annoyance. She made to get out of bed, then glimpsed the time on her bedside clock. "House, it's 9:17! I'm over an hour late for work!" Her eyes were enormous. "What is everyone going to think? You and I late, coming in together... Oh, god..." She began to shake her head again, as if the motion was going to make everything bad go away.

"Cuddy---" I began, but she cut me off.

"House, they're going to think we..." her voice trailed off, helplessness growing with her last words.

"Cuddy, it's Saturday. Unless you want to work on Saturday, but come on, who works on Saturdays?" At her flat look, I mumbled, "Oh yeah... You."

"What? Saturday? How did I... Wait. I don't remember ever coming home from the hospital last night. Did you take me home?" Cuddy pondered, wrapping her fingers through her dark hair. She looked at me, almost expectantly with her face scrunched up in confusion, pointing once from me to her. "Hah, no way. I must be dreaming. Go ahead. Slap me."

"I feel horridly insulted!" I exclaimed, feigning offense, then continued, nonchalantly, "I couldn't have let my two best friends sleep in the uncomfortable position they were in!"

"Two best friends? Huh?" Cuddy repeated, her look of perplexity escalating.

"Yeah, you and your ass, which, by the way, is looking bigger than normal," I stated, as casually as possible, and then jokingly added, "Pregnant?" I'd pushed one of her buttons, receiving an eye roll and a scolding glare.

"Look, you should probably go. I'll drive you over to your place."

"Whatever," I grumbled, pulling myself to my feet. My leg crumpled beneath me and I fell to the floor, teeth gnashing against each other. Pain wracked, not just my extremity, but also my entire body. Cuddy leapt from the bed and, before long, was knelt at my side. As I tried to sit up, clasping my leg with both hands, she pushed me back down.

"No. Just lie still," she instructed. Why the hell should I listen to her? I never listen anyways. Ignoring her directions, I sat up again, just to be shoved to the floor once more. "Dammit, House, sit still!" Her words were more commanding this time, and I conformed. While I remained motionless I felt Cuddy feeling around in my pockets, coming up with my bottle of Vicodin. She uncapped it and put two or three pills in my hand. I graciously dry-swallowed them and wished that they'd take effect quicker than normal. A couple seconds later, Cuddy was sliding a pillow under my head and throwing a blanket over me.

"Relax. Sleep, if you want. You're not going home like this, knowing you you'd probably overdose and kill yourself," Cuddy murmured, placing a hand at the base of my neck. I swiped it away.

"Go screw yourself, Cuddy," I muttered, echoing her former words. She smiled sadly, stood up, and walked out of the room. I let my head roll to its side, watching Cuddy's hips swing side to side as she left.


	3. Chapter 3

_Okay, my apologies for the super late update. This is long overdue, I know, but I was so busy for the week after Thanksgiving. I got halfway through this and for some reason my entire muse for writing anything... died. It was horrible, sitting there not being able to write anything. So yeah. It came back tonight, though, so I finished this. I can pretty much guarantee that a gap between updates won't be nearly as long as this last one. Anyways, I plan on putting up the next chapter on Thursday, maybe tomorrow if I can churn out the words... Plot may seem nonexistent at the moment, and the chapters short, but I haven't quite gotten... anywhere yet, but better stuff will come in the next couple chapters. So. Onwards!_

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**Chapter 3**

Look, for all of you idiots out there that actually thought I'd fall asleep in Cuddy's house for a second time... you're all wrong. The second Cuddy left the room I managed to pull myself into a sitting position and bring myself to my shaky feet. I wasn't going to look like a frail, disabled curmudgeon in front of Cuddy. It'd give her more ammo later, and Cuddy plus ammunition always equaled bad for me. It'd be 'You can't do that, you'll hurt yourself like you did at my house' or 'This is why you're so miserable, because of your leg'. I always felt as if she just liked me through pity, and pity... pity's for dumbasses.

Limping painfully down the staircase, I managed to hobble into Cuddy's kitchen, grasping my leg as I went. Cuddy was facing away from me frying something in a pan on the stove. It smelled suspiciously like bacon, which was unusual for her as she was a vegetarian. She turned her head so she could just barely see me out of the corner of her eye. I kept my gaze fixed upon her rear.

"You should be resting, or at least have your cane with you," she stated, her voice sounding motherly. "And stop staring at my ass." My eyes slowly drifted away from Cuddy to other points around the room. I was very uncomfortable.

"I thought you were a vegetarian, Cuddy. Bacon, now? Those cravings must be starting to kick in," I joked, rolling my eyes and stumbling to her front door.

"You're going?" she questioned, setting down her spatula. She turned around, leaning against the counter.

"Well, you were pretty eager to kick me out earlier."

"I didn't mean it. I was... distracted by the fact that I'd thought I had sex with you," she explained with a shrug of her shoulders.

"Oh come on, it wasn't that bad last time, was it?" I asked dramatically, grabbing my cane from her front porch and closing the door afterwards.

"I was drunk, House."

"Whatever, you know you want to jump me right now, anyways. Now are you going to let me have the bacon? That's the last thing you need anyways, you don't want your figure to get worse than it already is," I mocked. Cuddy glanced upwards as if begging God, or Buddha, or whatever she worshipped, to make me disappear in a puff of smoke. Yeah. Her wish didn't quite come true. Big surprise there.

The island in Cuddy's kitchen had a barstool next to it, so I pulled it out and plopped down on top of it. When I looked back up at her, her mouth was contorted into a very dissatisfied scowl.

"Here," she muttered grimly, scraping the bacon on a plate and clattering the glassware down in front of me. I picked up a slice, waved it around in the air then tossed it on top of her head. Cuddy attempted to look at her hairline, where the thin strip of meat stuck; in the process she went cross-eyed and, boy, did that look amusing. The look on her face was of pure irritation and she put her hands on her hips, standing, only as she could, in a way that conveyed her annoyance clearly. Flipping her hair, she caused the thin piece of meat to fall to the floor. I smiled deviously.

"Aw, I liked your hair better that way," I whined. Her glare became even angrier.

"And I liked you before you reverted to a child."

I complained in response, "Now I'm hurt! I compliment you and you insult me?"

"Shut up," grumbled Cuddy, picking up the bacon from the floor and holding it up questioningly. Without warning, she tossed the pork at my face with the flick of her wrist. It clung stubbornly to the stubble on my chin. I blinked my eyes blankly, peeled the meat off my face, and placed it in my mouth, all the while not breaking my staring contest with her. Cuddy looked absolutely repulsed.

"This isn't as bad as that tofu shit you call food, in fact it's probably four times better," I stated uninterestedly, paying more attention to my food, now that it wasn't being thrown around. "Just better. Not actually good..." To my surprise, it was fairly tasty. I almost expected Cuddy's cooking to be bland, but hey, I was happy.

After having composed herself, Cuddy rested her elbows on the countertop and cradled her chin in her hands. Little did she know, her current position gave me a clear shot down the front of her low-cut sweater.

"So you think my food is crap, but you'll eat all that artificial crap from the stores and down bottles of alcohol like candy? You're an idiot."

"Thanks," I said, the word dripping excessive sarcasm. "I'm leaving." Grabbing the last sliver of bacon I began my limp to her door. Pulling it open with excessive force, it slammed against the doorstop with a loud bang. Noticing a few of her neighbors out doing household chores, and easily in earshot, I added in a loud voice, "And I will never have sex with you again! It was horrible!"

Cuddy's eyes grew wider than I thought was humanly possible when she noted that her neighbors' heads turned at my words. I think I even caught one of her eyelids twitch in rage. A self-satisfied smirk unfurled itself across my face as I stalked away from her house. Then it hit me. I had no ride home. Shit. Walking was going to be a pain, but there was no way in the world I was going to go crying to Cuddy after... this morning's happenings. Or I could call Wilson...

Yeah. Wilson was probably my best bet. I reached into my pocket to pull out my cell phone, but my fingers closed on nothing but fabric. Damn. I left my stupid phone back on Cuddy's nightstand. Sighing in exasperation, I turned on my good leg and headed back in the direction of Cuddy's home. One of her neighbors squinted his eyes at me as I ascended her front steps.

"Thought you said you weren't going to do her again," the man joked, a smug look plastered across his face. I gave him a look that must have scared the shit out of him because he looked away immediately and returned to his yard work.

I never really understood why people put so much effort into their lawns when it was the end of November. First of all, it was cold. On top of that, the snows would come and screw up everything. That's why I have an apartment. No lawn, no yard work needed, and therefore no opportunity for getting screwed up. My life was enough of a mess already, anyways.

Hence the reason things couldn't happen with Cuddy. Yes, she was pretty, but she was just that. Just another damn pretty face, begging me to give something I couldn't possibly give. Just another damn Stacy. Just like a damn lawn, keeping me busy and entertained, on some sort of high for a while, then screwing me over. Damn it... Did I seriously just compare Cuddy and Stacy to a friggin' lawn? I gotta stop exerting myself. It's starting to get to my head, I swear.

Shaking my head clear of my ramblings I turn back to Cuddy's door, and readied myself to knock. I stopped before doing so, however, because I found the door already open, Cuddy's lithe form standing in the entrance with my phone in her outstretched hand. Grabbing my phone from her palm, my fingers grazed, accidentally against hers and lingered not so accidentally against her skin. I put on my best 'thanks-but-I-still-plan-on-giving-you-crap' smile and nodded my head.

As I had nothing more to gain by standing there like an idiot, I spun around and hobbled down her steps. I rotated my head slightly, to catch her in my peripheral vision. She seemed sad, and I felt a tad bit sorry for her because I knew that I was most likely the cause for that unhappiness. At her sigh of surrender, I had to pull my focus back to the ground I was walking on. Damn feelings. They always manage to screw up your life you know? Without them, I could be perfectly happy, drinking my life away and spending every night with some hooker, but _no._ Damn feelings wouldn't let me do that. Dammit. And as much as I hate to compare things to yard work of _all _things... Emotions always screw you over, just like _damn_ women and _damn_ lawns.

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_Oh, yeah. Disclaimer. I don't own House or Cuddy, or whatever else I include in this fic. I just like calling the shots. ;)_


	4. Chapter 4

_So this chapter's longer than the other three, but that won't be a problem, right? Thanks for the reviews!_

_~CF_

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Chapter 4

Wilson had answered his phone on the first ring, almost as if he'd been waiting for me to call, "Hello?" His voice was unexcited and lacking inflection.

"Hey. You should come pick me up," I grumbled, continuing my journey to the nearby park. My request was stated in a way that made it clear that I had no concern for Wilson's life, just mine. He was my closest friend, but screw it, when it came to who was the most important in our friendship, it was me.

"House, I'm busy. You can't just expect me to heed to your every whim," he replied, annoyance stinging my ear.

"But I do," I whined into the receiver. I could just see Wilson's trademark expression of irritation slowly revealing itself on his face.

"I'm not going to come pick you up. Knowing you, you're probably drunk or something."

"Oh, come on," I complained, than added in a singsong voice, "you know you want to help me!"

"Look. I can't. If you'd been paying attention, you'd have heard that I'm in Florida at a conference," Wilson explained, ending his sentence with long drawn-out sigh. I cursed under my breath and pounded my cane on the concrete as I came to a stop.

"Damn," I swore again.

"Why don't you call Cuddy?" he suggested.

"Can't."

"And why not?" Wilson questioned, exasperation beginning to creep into his voice. I smiled at the fact that I had stressed him out. He was so easy to get to, you know?

"Just can't."

"What did you go and do this time?"

"Threw bacon at her head," I stated, as if that activity was an everyday event. Wilson groaned, and I was sure that he was burying his head in his hands. At the following silence I felt it necessary to say something. "What?" A loud release of air assaulted me from Wilson's end of the phone.

"You can't ever be nice, can you?" he asked dramatically. I couldn't help but feel the urge to tell him that he should have been born a woman. It really would've been more fitting. No man was supposed to be able to sound so... natural while being dramatic. Drama was for the female portion of the human race.

"How long have you known me, again?"

"Go ask Cuddy to take you home. With your physical condition, you'd never make it to your house anyways."

"Whatever. You need to get laid tonight, okay? Okay. I'll talk to you later," I concluded, snapping the phone shut before Wilson could spit out a response. Exhaling noisily, I reversed my trek for the second time that day. I looked up at the now cloudy sky. In a matter of an hour, the sun had disappeared and left everything looking gray. Cold nipped at my skin and I pulled my jacket tighter with my left hand.

To my displeasure, I felt a small, freezing bit of something strike the side of my neck. Glancing towards the sky again, I could discern tiny flakes of ice drifting down to the ground in a sluggish descent. Snow. I limped on, despite the cold, and found myself back on Cuddy's walkway, yet again. She could be seen through the front window, sipping from a steaming mug and curled up in a small ball. From this distance, she looked calm and happy, an appearance she rarely donned in front of me.

As I dragged myself to her front steps, I could see her in more detail, and, upon closer inspection, I could tell that she wasn't happy, as I'd originally assumed. There were tears glistening on her cheeks and her eyes had red stains circling them. I frowned. Why was Cuddy so upset? What was the deal with her lately?

Biting my bottom lip, I tentatively tapped on the glass portion of her door. The small thuds seemed louder than they should have. Cuddy's head snapped to the window at the noise. If I hadn't been looking for it, I probably wouldn't have noticed her shoulders slump so slightly, or her bitter frown become a little bit more bitter. She slowly climbed to her feet, disappearing from view for a moment before reappearing in her open doorway.

"What do you want now?" she spat, and I shrunk back for once. What the hell was going on? Why was she so angry all of a sudden? I'd seen Cuddy unhappy fairly often, but never quite as venomous as she seemed then.

"What got your panties in a bunch, Miss Pissy?" I chided, knowing it was the wrong thing to say right after the words spilled out of my mouth. Cuddy's eyebrows seemed to knit together, right before she slammed the door in my face.

Standing there, snow beginning to cling to my coat, I felt utterly lost. One second Cuddy and I had been joking playfully, then the next, and she'd gone all... angry. I pounded on the door again with my cane, this time without the gentleness I'd used previously.

"Go away, House!" exclaimed Cuddy as she jerked the door open.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" I grumbled, wiping some snow off of my jaw. Her stare was flat, with a constant level of irritation coursing through her soft blue eyes. I nudged her out of the way, ignoring her request, and stumbling into the warmth of her house.

"I told you to leave," she whispered. Her words were like little daggers; she made sure to make the most out of each and every one.

"Do you want me to freeze out there?" I asked, motioning to the snow covering my body. Her eyes were vicious, like those of some predatory animal. She didn't seem to care much about me freezing at all, and her next comment really showed off that fact.

"Actually, I wouldn't mind."

"Holy shit. What is going on with you? What the hell did I do to make you so pissed off?" My voice began to show signs of anger and became louder by a few decibels. She took a step towards me and prodded her finger into my chest.

"You son-of-a-bitch!" she murmured, emphasizing each word by stabbing said finger against my jacket on every syllable.

"Let's not go insulting my mother here."

"Your stupid stunt this morning with the neighbors... I got a call from Ms. Kinney, some lady down my street, and you know what she did? You know what she heard? Somebody else on the street that heard your little act called her and told her I was a whore! So, she goes and calls me and starts to rants at me about my sex life, which, up until this morning, had been private! Now my entire street thinks I'm a slut! That's why I'm so pissed off, you bastard!" Cuddy shouted, her fury escalating to extreme levels by the end of the speech.

Her face was contorted in anger, tears brimming on the edge of her eyes. I was sure that if she didn't have better self-control, she would have slapped me across the face with as much power as she could possibly muster. Thankfully, she was a disciplined woman and refrained from physically abusing me, even though I may have deserved it. Look, I had no clue at the time, that my words would've caused this much... disaster.

"I didn't want that to happen," I mumbled sternly, not able to hold with Cuddy's enraged gaze. Normally I could hold a stare with anyone, even her, but there was something about her that afternoon, something that told me to back down. I was no longer on top. Cuddy was just one snide comment away from coming completely unhinged, and an exploding Cuddy... I'd only seen that once before, and I never wanted to see _that _ever again.

"Go to hell," she hissed. I took a step back, but it did nothing to create space, Cuddy just followed me, actually bringing herself closer than before. I fidgeted uncomfortably, hoping that she'd calm down a little and maybe back off. Even as hard as I was trying to avoid her piercing glare, I couldn't pull my own eyes away from hers. They were too captivating. Somehow, in all of her wrath, she seemed... somewhat pretty, I suppose. She did have many talents; maybe one of them was being furious and sexy at the same time?

Whoa, wait a minute... Did I _actually_ just say Cuddy was sexy? Hadn't I told myself before, that I wasn't allowed to think about her like _that_? Yes, I had, but somehow, those thoughts always seemed to creep back in. I couldn't let Cuddy know that I had any feelings for her though, it would all lead to me being screwed over again by someone I cared a bit too much for. Trust me, it happened every time, and if I tried anything with Cuddy... it'd just happen again. Nope. Denial may not best the best thing for somebody, but since when did I care about what was best for me? That's right, never. I certainly didn't have feelings for her, no way, no how.

Shaking my head, and not really knowing why, (maybe it was to clear my thoughts?) I returned my eyes to Cuddy's, but found hers closed. I glanced down and saw that during her rant she had taken hold of my collar. Her fist was tightly closed around the cloth, and the grip kept me from moving away.

"Trust me, I'm already in a living hell, Cuddy," I joked, hoping to lighten the mood. It wasn't a rude comment about her, but about me instead. She couldn't possibly take offense to that could she? When her eyes flicked open, I thought she'd had the final straw. The blue orbs seemed to be glowing madly, holding some icy fire in their depths. I was sure she was going to beat me till I bled, but I misinterpreted the signs. What I thought was fury... was something entirely different.

I gulped. I'd seen that look in her eyes before. I'd mistaken it for anger then, too, but this time I caught myself before I fell for it again. I'd received that very glare on that night back in college, the night before my graduation when I slept with a lucky under-grad girl that had wormed her way into my own heart. That same under-grad girl, now lacking most of her immature qualities, was standing before me again, with that same look in her eyes, that look of powerful longing, that look of untainted desire.

I expected things to follow that night's agenda - and I would've been totally pleased if they had - but apparently Cuddy had a change of plans this time. She released my collar, leaving wrinkles in the fabric that I didn't particularly care about. Her face turned downwards, staring at her bare feet as if they were the only things to look at. Damn. And I thought I'd been so close, you know? I hadn't been laid in a good month and maybe getting some could have loosened me up a bit.

"What did you want again House?" Cuddy whispered, her voice barely audible.

"I was going to ask for a ride home, but you clearly are not in the mood for that. I'll go now," I said, trying my best to sound gentle. Trust me, being kind was _not_ one of my strong points. I fumbled for the doorknob, before turning around to find it, and backed out onto her front porch. Snow was coming down like needles now, blown violently by the increased winds.

"No. Let me get my keys. You'll catch your death out there."

"Aw, come on Cuddy, you know you can't catch death."

"Shut up, you grumpy old curmudgeon!" Cuddy prodded, a small smile gracing her face. I placed a hand over my mouth acting as if she'd hurt my feelings.

"I'm going to tell mom," I teased, imitating the voice of a four-year-old. Her smile grew a couple sizes, and she grabbed me by the arm, pulling me back inside. I was, in reality, happy that she hadn't let me walk back to my apartment. It was at least two miles and, though it wasn't possible to catch death, it was all too likely that I'd get pneumonia or hypothermia.

"I'll get some coffee going," Cuddy stated, leaving me to brush myself off.

"Sounds good."

"You can sit down if you want," she called from the kitchen. I followed suit and plopped down on her very soft couch. Staring out the front window, I watched the flakes of snow whirl and twirl in a vortex of absolute chaos. That actually made me feel better, knowing that there was something in the world that had a life more chaotic than mine. If you consider a snowflake to have a 'life' that is.

Cuddy shuffled back into the living room, breaking my observation of the snow. She paused for a second to take in a deep breath and stretch, then sat down to my left, her feet tucked underneath her.

"So..." she sighed, fooling around with the too-long sleeves of her gray sweater. She'd changed clothes since I had left earlier that day, the former garment, having been low-cut and fitting, while this new one was... Actually there were no words that actually fit the thing except for ugly. It was a dull color, the color of the sky in the middle of a rain shower, and hung on her figure like a pillowcase. It was lumpy and actually had holes in the sleeves.

I turned slightly to face her and she did the same. For a moment I thought I saw that lusty stare, but just as quickly as it came, it departed. Cuddy didn't seem quite so angry anymore (thankfully), and also seemed just about as uneasy as I was. It didn't make much sense. We could be perfectly fine at the hospital, comfortably confronting each other and talking to each other, but when we weren't at work... everything got all weird between us. I didn't really know why, and that was disconcerting. I _always_ know why.

We stared at each other for what seemed like a few minutes, neither one of us really wanting to break the contact. Somehow (and it was entirely unintentional!) I found myself a lot closer to her than we had been before, a little too close perhaps? Yeah, I'm going to go with way too close. Cuddy seemed to have realized it as well, because all of a sudden she got that 'deer in the headlights' look. I actually thought it was kind of cute. Damn, there went those forbidden thoughts again...

Then and there I had this strange compulsion to actually kiss her, but that'd make everything even more awkward. On the bright side, I certainly find out if she had feelings for me, but even if she did, I wouldn't care. Even if she had feelings for me, I wouldn't start anything with her. Like I said, it'd end in crap. I guess the only downside to the whole plan was the fact that Cuddy would either accept and then need to talk later, or reject it altogether. If she rejected it, I could just go back to burying my feelings and resume life as normal. If she accepted... Well that was a whole different story.

'_Nope, no kissing was going to happen now or never'_ I concluded, leaning back against the couch, therefore pulling myself away from Cuddy. _'No kissing would---'_ that thought would fail to be completed, when I noticed Cuddy's hand on my knee. My eyes flitted back and forth from her hand to her face, trying to discern if she actually knew what she was doing.

"Uh, Cuddy, just to let you know, I'm not your pet dog," I stated, motioning to her hand. She looked down at where her hand was placed, and her eyes swelled to a larger size. Cuddy whipped her hand back into her lap, an apologetic look on her face.

"Sorry," she whispered clumsily. She withdrew against the arm of the couch, trying to shrink away from the awkward situation she'd just caused by accident. I almost laughed at how insecure and embarrassed she looked. Just to push a couple buttons, I placed my hand on her knee. Her head whipped up, one eyebrow clearly higher than the other. She joined in the game by returning her hand to its former position on my leg. Cuddy was playing a game with me, and when it came to games, the number one rule was that I always won. In an attempt to beat her out, I placed a second hand on her other knee. She repeated my gesture.

This time, I found myself even closer to Cuddy's face, and couldn't help it when my eyes danced down towards her mouth a couple times. Not particularly thinking anymore, I moved in the last few inches and kissed her. Her hand released my knees and found their way slowly to my neck while mine remained in their place. Somewhere off in the kitchen, her coffee maker beeped, causing me to jump, and break the kiss. A centimeter or two away from her face, I finally took in the situation.

Glancing upwards, I sighed one word, "Damn." Cuddy looked away shyly then pulled herself to her feet.

"I'll get the coffee," she murmured, her eyes flicking around the room, settling on everything _but _me. Before she could get to the kitchen, there was a knock at her front door.

"Lisa, I think you should let me in!" a woman's voice said through the wood. Cuddy stopped in her tracks, slapping a hand to her forehead and sliding it down her face. I gave her a confused look, having not been able to recognize the voice. It sounded familiar, but I couldn't quite pick out whom it belonged to.

"I forgot about her..." Cuddy grumbled, making her way to the door. She pulled it open and revealed a slightly taller woman with red hair. Everything came running back to me. Cuddy's old college roommate, Anna.

"So you finally decided to hook up with Mr. Grumpy-Pants-Greg, eh Lise?" Anna inquired, a mocking smile on her face.

"House, I'm _sure_ you remember Anna." I nodded in response, shooting a death glare in Cuddy's direction. She was _not_ going to be forgiven for this.

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_Disclaimer: I don't own House, blah, blah, blah. Don't sue me. You know the drill._


	5. Chapter 5

_Another somewhat long break between updates. Well, not really, but I wasn't able to post this up. I was away from home for the weekend. This may or may not be the last update before Christmas, so if it is, Happy Holidays everyone! Reviews are 3! :) So much snow where I live. It's crazy. There's like a foot and a half in my front yard. XD. Snow is 3 too, 'cause snow means skiing! _

_3 CF_

* * *

Chapter 5

Oh, yes, I certainly remembered Anna. I definitely remembered her, and Cuddy would, too. It all went back to that one night Cuddy and I shared, the night before my graduation, and the night Anna Campbell found out that I cheated on her with her best friend, which, I had to admit, didn't lessen the blow very much. Okay, rephrase that. Cheating on her with her best friend made everything a whole hell of a lot worse.

The two women embraced each other in a friendly hug, chuckling quietly and exchanging toothy grins. Stepping apart from one another, Anna took Cuddy's shoulders in her hands, narrowing her eyes at her as she examined her further.

"You're shorter than I remember," Anna remarked flatly, then broke out in an even bigger smile. "Just kidding. So, hooked up, now, eh?"

"House and I aren't 'hooked up', we're just co-workers," Cuddy replied, blushing fervently. I buried my head in my hands, reminding myself to get revenge on the redhead for the injury she'd caused years ago...

"I'm fairly sure that co-workers _don't_ suck each other's faces off," stated Anna, making sure to throw a contemptuous glare in my direction. She then added with a snarl, "And, you might want to watch that _thing_, very closely. You never know when it'll turn its back on you." Clearly someone hadn't forgotten my betrayal...

_I kissed Lisa furiously and she returned the favor, her tongue clashing against mine in a battle all too close to have a winner. Her fingers were clasping handfuls of my hair, occasionally trailing down my neck to pull me closer to her. My own hands rested lightly on her hips, gently caressing her pale skin with the very tips of my fingers. We were completely oblivious to the world around us, not caring that we were in her dorm room, on her couch. Not remembering that her roommate was due home in any minute._

_The passion between us was raw, untamed, fierce and aggressive. It was unlike any I'd experienced before. Well, that is, unlike any I'd experienced except for with one other person, and that was my current girlfriend. Yes, I was going out with one woman and sleeping with another, but that was... not such a great subject to think of after you just finished screwing one of the hottest girls on campus. Even if she was an undergrad. My girlfriend was an undergrad, too, and she was easily right up there with the brunette beauty on my lap at that moment. _

_My girlfriend... Yeah she was quite a lady, too. Tall, probably two or three inches shorter than six feet, lovely brown eyes, fiery red hair, and an attractive body, to boot. She was athletic with a pair of arms than probably belonged on a teenage boy, but there was still this air of femininity around her. She was brilliant, quick, and almost as witty as myself. She was practically perfect and I did indeed like her. A lot. But somehow, I still found myself with another woman in my arms, another woman touching her lips to mine._

_The door opened, casting a thin line of light across the dark room, before the lights above us illuminated. My head whipped around to find my own girlfriend, my own Anna Campbell, standing in Cuddy's doorway. It took our newcomer a few moments to comprehend what was going on before her. Keep in mind; I didn't know that Anna was Cuddy's roommate. No clue, whatsoever. Anna's eyes seemed to go from cool brown to the bright red of her hair in seconds when she recognized my face._

"_Greg!?" Anna screeched. Her face was contorted in a hurt display of emotion, and her eyes were brimming with tears that threatened to spill over at any second. It was almost as if someone had flipped a switch, making her go from her normal self into some angered animal. She flicked a stray piece of hair out of her red face, glaring at me as if I'd just... well, as if I'd just cheated on her. _

_Lisa looked up at me, an accusation in her eyes that didn't need to be spoken for me to understand. Even she looked hurt; her eyes seemed on the brim of tears as well, not believing that I would put her in that position. Lisa poked her head over the top of the couch to see her enraged roommate._

"_I – uh, it's just that... It's not what you think!" I stuttered, and she delivered an unconvinced stare with a mouth twisted in a scowl. "Okay. It is what you think. I---"_

"_Shut up Greg! I can't believe you, you damn bastard! And you, Lisa! I thought you were my friend!" Anna continued. "I can't believe you'd do this to me!" Lisa began shaking her head and shoved me backwards on the couch. She snatched her robe from the coffee table and tied it around her waist. Her hand was raised, as if she planned on slapping me. She followed through, and none too gently, either._

"_Get the hell out of here!" Cuddy yelled. "I can't believe you'd do that to her! You didn't happen to mention that you had a girlfriend when you fell into bed with me... Just forgot that fact? Bastard." I was quite out-of-my-element, two enraged hyenas, snapping at my throat with a vengeance. I snagged my Rolling Stones tee, threw it over my head, and then pulled on my jeans quicker than I'd ever done before. _

_My fleeting blue eyes flew back and forth between the two of them, trying to figure out which one would murder me first. I scurried to the door, but that trek seemed all too lengthy for my liking. Standing outside the doorway, I turned back to apologize to my new 'ex-girlfriend', and saw her winding up to clout me in the face. The entire world seemed to slow down; I could see the stringy muscles in her arm tighten as she wound up, the release as her fist began to travel towards my face. That fist struck me in the side of the face, jerking my entire body into the wall behind me. Slumping down the wall to the floor, I touched my hand to my jaw, looked up to see the door slam, and then blacked out. The girl could hit pretty damn hard, that was for damn sure. She actually hit harder than some of the guys on campus, putting a couple football players to shame._

As I sat there on Cuddy's couch, remembering one of my less favorable moments, I could almost feel my jaw aching in the way that it had for weeks after Anna slugged me. Damn girl broke my damn jaw. Hurt like hell, too! You'd think something in my brain would have reminded me not to mess with somebody that could bench press 100 pounds with ease. I had a damn black eye for graduation, and my mother was so pissed at Anna that she really wanted to take a swing at her herself. My father was even angrier; I had to hold him back from getting his shotgun and setting out on a hunt. He would've shot her, too, that I have no doubt about.

"Damn, Anna, twenty years and I thought you'd have forgiven me by now. I guess some of us aren't blessed with likable personalities. Or good looks, fat ass," I chided, observing that there was no way in the world that she could be considered 'fat'. She was slimmer, now than she had been in college, having lost some the muscle that had been built up during her years of playing soccer for the university. Time had been kind to her as well, leaving her looking younger than Cuddy, even. Then again she did have the advantage of being two years younger. That may seem weird, considering they graduated in the same class, but Anna went through that Running Start program in high school, pushing her ahead of your average collegian. What I liked to say was that she was one damn smart cookie.

"Take a good look in the mirror next time you get a chance, bucko. Or did all your mirrors break?" Anna flipped her wavy bobbed hair out of her eyes, a confident smirk smeared on her face like makeup. She was an attractive woman, and that was _damn_ sure. Her skinny leg jeans were stretched like a second skin over her long, thin legs, but her silvery blouse left a lot to be imagined. The high-necked shirt was cut off at the shoulders and gave me no cleavage to goggle over. Quite a shame, too, her chest was worth showing off, even if it was on the small size.

"Actually, the women are all dying to jump me. Even Cuddy, ask her." I sent a mischievous leer in Cuddy's direction. "And judging by the lack of a ring on your finger, you're catching fewer men than me, and I'm definitely not gay."

"Thanks," Anna whispered, an unusual hush coming over her. She looked down at the ground.

"Well, glad to see you two are getting along great. House, why don't you come into the kitchen with me and get that coffee," Cuddy intervened, seeing that I'd struck a very tender part of Anna's heart.

"But mom," I whined, and cut myself off when I saw Cuddy's furious glare. "I'm coming." I limped into the kitchen, and Cuddy cornered me against her refrigerator. Her arms were crossed and she was clearly unhappy.

"Anna's husband left her for another woman last year. It hit her pretty hard. She's not over it yet and I don't really know if she'll ever be totally over it. Please - and I don't know why I'm actually asking you to do something because I know you'll do the opposite – please avoid that subject." Cuddy's eyes were wholly sympathetic; she really cared about her friend, and obviously didn't want to get hurt.

"Humph," I grunted, noncommittally. She sighed and grabbed three mugs from her cabinets, filling them with the still-warm coffee. I grabbed one without asking or saying thanks and returned to the living room to find Anna sitting on the couch, staring blankly out the window.

"I'm upset with you anymore, Greg," Anna murmured, twisting her fingers together and apart.

"Huh?" I mumbled.

"About college. I was only mad for a bit. After I cooled off, it didn't matter much. I was over it before that week was out."

"Then why the hell are you still picking on me? You devil spawn or something?"

"You're fun to mess with," she retaliated, a smile creeping back on her face. I don't feel bad for many people, but from all of her stories I'd heard... I felt bad for Anna. When we were dating she told me about her childhood and growing up with her family. There weren't many positive stories, so few you could count them on one hand. Then I cheated on her, and she didn't deserve that. Then the whole husband thing. She got dealt a shitty hand in life, that's for sure, and she didn't deserve it, but, hey, we all get shitty cards. I got a damn shitty card myself and I've dealt with it perfectly fine.

"Big surprise."

"Has anyone you really loved, ever cheated on you?" she asked, and I was surprised by her boldness. I noticed Cuddy leaning in the doorway, but ignored her.

"No," I stated blandly. She shrugged her shoulders and forced another grin.

"Well, fuck. How about we go to dinner tonight? Go out somewhere fun. You guys can call any friend you have and ask if they want to come along, I don't mind," Anna suggested. Cuddy nodded and I remained indifferent.

"House, why don't you call Wilson, see if he wants to go to Nero's with us," Cuddy recommended and I obliged. I pulled out my cell to call Wilson. He answered and I posed my question. My right ear was greeted by an excessive amount of yelling about how I never paid any attention to him. Flipping my phone shut, I turned to Cuddy.

"I don't think Wilson will be joining us tonight."

"And I don't think we'll be going anywhere," Anna remarked, motioning to the snow outside. The flakes had decided that they wanted to swirl faster and in a more vicious manner. Also, a good four inches of white fluff already blanketed the ground.

"Screw it. Cuddy'll make us dinner." Cuddy glanced at me, lip curled, and telling me without words that I was pushing my limits.

"I'd make you fix dinner, but you'd probably make something radioactive," Cuddy mocked. I rolled my eyes.

"I could always beat him into making something nice," Anna offered, punching a fist into her other hand. The two women laughed and I pretended to sulk, simulating offense.

"Come on Lise, I'll help you fix some sort off food." Anna climbed from the sofa and disappeared with Cuddy into the kitchen.

I heard Cuddy poke some fun at her, claiming that she'd be as much help as me. As much as I wished that would be a compliment, I knew it was meant in a derogatory way. A slight smile crept onto my face and I shook my head. Life sucks for everyone. Some people, like Cuddy and Anna, dealt with it responsibly by holding on to others. Some dealt with it _irresponsibly_, like me, by relying on drugs and alcohol. I liked my way better. Drugs and alcohol couldn't hurt you emotionally. They may cause unwanted symptoms, but I could deal.

Becoming quickly bored, sitting in Cuddy's living room and hearing them having a good old time in the kitchen, I decided to make myself happy by making them unhappy. I wandered into the kitchen to see the two chopping things and throwing them into a pot of red sauce. When the two decided to check out the fridge, a stuck a spoon in the sauce and retreated into the hallway. This was going to be good.

Peering around the corner I spotted Anna turned away from Cuddy completely. My chance. I flicked the small tomato chunks from the spoon, all the way across the room and onto the back of her shirt. She spun around, apron whipping along with her, to face Cuddy, a look of accusation across her features.

"Did you seriously just do that?"

"What?" Cuddy asked, confused.

"You flicked sauce on me!"

"No way."

"Oh, we'll see about that," Anna retorted, grabbing softened butter from its plate and smearing it across Cuddy's collarbone. I grinned maliciously. It was like that morning, with the bacon, but way more entertaining. Cuddy's eyes widened.

"Oh no you didn't!" she scolded, mouth open in a half-smile. She stuck a hand into the spaghetti sauce and flicked her fingers in Anna's freckled face. Anna blinked her eyes in surprise before taking a tomato from the counter and squishing it above Cuddy's head, letting the juices and pulp slide down her cheeks. Anna pushed her eyebrows upwards, daring Cuddy to top her. In response, the brunette opened her fridge and pulled out a bottle of chocolate sauce. Her smile was wicked, unlike any I'd really seen from her. She waved the bottle in the air.

"You wouldn't." Anna whispered, putting her hands out in front of her.

"Really?" Cuddy taunted, flinging some of the sauce onto Anna's dark wash jeans. I had to bite my tongue to get myself to not burst out laughing. Causing trouble was fun, especially at the expense of others.

"Wait a minute," Anna said, her eyes locking with mine.

"Yeah, right." Cuddy squirted the thick brown liquid across Anna's face and torso, leaving her dripping with chocolate. She grimaced, pointing one finger directly at me. Cuddy slowly spun around, saw the tomato-smeared spoon in my hand, and began to laugh. Anna shook her head, putting a hand to her forehead, but not before looking at me as if I were a small child.

"You're a bad person, Greg," Anna stated, wiping chocolate covered hair behind her ear. Cuddy nodded in agreement. She put on a happy face now, but the second Anna left the room, I was certain that she'd be all over me. And not in the lusty way I would've actually enjoyed... Darn.

"Nobody ever said I was good. Plus, you two are bonding. Just don't go all lesbian on me, okay?"

"House is confusing good and evil again. Happens _all_ the time," Cuddy mumbled, exasperation dripping from her words.

"I'm going to shower, Lise. I should've done that when I got here, but I was distracted by you two raping each others' tongues. Keep him _out_ of the bathroom. Please." Anna untied her stained apron and hung it on a cabinet's handle. "I'm outta here." She stalked from the room, examining the damage to her clothing, and none too happy about it, judging by the string of curses she mumbled under her breath. Cuddy just looked at me, knowing that she could do nothing about my misbehavior.

"Hey, you said no talk about marriage. You said nothing about causing a food fight," I justified myself, throwing my hands up in innocence. She giggled.

"You're a pain in the ass, you know?"

"I know."

"That was a rhetorical question."

"I know."

"So... Aren't you curious?" Cuddy said. I looked at her vacantly, expressing my clear lack of insight into her mind. Her mind was way too cluttered. I don't even know how she managed to sort through all the crap that floated around in there, but she did. Seeing my confusion, she elaborated, "Curious about why Anna's here?"

"Oh, yeah. I guess." Uninterested.

"I hired her as a head of a department at PPTH." I grumbled in response, trying to make my lack of concern obvious. Then I remembered something. Anna specialized in diagnostics. _I_ specialized in diagnostics. Cuddy said she was going to be head of a department. _I_ was head of a department. It would only make sense that Anna would be Head of Diagnostics. But _I_ was the Head of Diagnostics! What the hell!

"Whoa! What about me?" I asked, shocked, my interest now piqued.

"You two are sharing the Head of Diagnostics position. She's your new partner. Get used to it. Like it."

"Damn." I trudged from Cuddy's kitchen, leaving her to finish the spaghetti alone. I smirked, then changed my destination to the bathroom down the hall. Slowly turning the knob, careful not to make any noise, I found the door unlocked. Party in the bathroom! Closing the door quietly behind me, I plopped up onto the bathroom counter, facing the now-running shower. I grinned when I spotted a pile of clothes on the counter next to me. Picking up a small pair of lacy underwear, I held them up in triumph. Another pair for the collection!

The water clicked off behind the shower curtain and a hand shot out to grasp a towel from its rack. Dang. I definitely thought she'd whip open the curtain to find me sitting there and freak out. Sadly, that situation didn't unfold. She must've dried herself off behind the shield of plastic.

Then a hand grabbed the curtain and pulled it back, revealing a towel-clothed Anna, still dripping with water. She screamed. Cuddy was at the door and pulling it open in less than a minute. A look of disgust assaulted me from two faces in the room.

"Get the hell out of here!" Anna finally broke the silence, pointing tellingly at the door. Her comment was not only directed at me, but Cuddy, too. "I'd like to be alone while I dress." I pocketed her black panties and shuffled from the tiled room. I'd gotten what I'd wanted anyways, why stick around?

"You're like a child," Cuddy grumbled from behind me. I didn't respond. Already in deep shit, I really didn't want much more trouble. Then again, I was already going to be punished, why not push some more limits? I turned to face Cuddy, halting my trek to the kitchen. She almost ran into me, stopping just short.

"What are you doing?" she asked, perplexed. I stepped towards her, slowly snaking my hand around behind her. She glanced down at my arm, just daring me to try her patience. I clasped my hand around her rear, the soft fabric of her pajama pants mingling with the slick tomato and butter residue. She narrowed her eyes, but didn't swipe my hand away as I'd expected.

"Um, sorry to interrupt this tender, albeit awkward, moment, but who the hell had the guts to steal my underwear?"


End file.
